Fear and their Manifestations

A Federal Agent to pick me up??? In a special car??

My mind tried to reason it out. After all I was at a wrong place in the airport. Was nicely coloured for an Asian and besides, we were nearing 9/11. Naturally, the airport authorities would be cautious.

I had disembarked at the Paris airport from AirFrance. Had to reach Terminal 2E for the conecting flight to Atlanta. The friendly airport staff had directed me to a bus that would chart me to Terminal 2E. After deboarding, I walked up to one of the women at the Terminal counter. "Could you please let me know if I am at the right place?" No harm in rechecking.

One look at the ticket and " No, Ma'm. You are at the wrong terminal." I tried to appear calm. "So, how do I reach there?" She stared at me for some time. No smile. No look of hostility either. Spoke to me in French. "English please". She picked up the phone, dialed a number and spoke quickly in French. "Please wait there madame. A Federal Agent will be here and he will take you in a special car. Please sit there and I will call you when he comes."

My heart sank. I could have cried out aloud. What could they do? They wouldnt arrest me for having come to the wrong terminal?!! But then, why a Federal Agent??

Ever noticed - Fear something, and things usually do go wrong. From the day I had known that I had to travel, I was paralysed with fear. Fear of the unknown. I didnt know what I was afraid of, but I was scared. And scared like hell. I knew I would be shitting bricks at Mumbai -my ticket was Chennai-Mumbai-Paris-Atlanta. The more I thought of killing time at Mumbai, the more I got disturbed. I knew it was abnormal - maybe I needed to see a shrink. For, would anyone lose sleep on "such a trivial issue", as someone stated! Not only had I lost sleep, but had also lost everything inside of me as the thought of travelling to Atlanta had made me retch.

The Federal Agent came with his special car, took me to the right terminal and wished me a good journey ahead. Even as I sat on the plane to Atlanta, my mind had begun to weave another fear knot. This time, I checked into the Atlanta hotel without my fear charting the path for me.